Friday, March 05, 2010


It's been a tough week on a lot of different layers (or levels). I went in for a crown this morning and got two, but somehow I'm not feeling lucky minus the $1000 I handed over to the thief/dentist. I am grateful for dental insurance. Work has been super busy but I was able to hire a temp for 6 months and she started Thursday - she's super with a great imagination - she said, I want to help you get "caught up". What's that? I have a sort throat and congestion, the "crud" that everyone else has. It would have been nice to stay in bed for a couple of days. Remind me to enjoy that when I retire - being able to take care of yourself when you're sick. I've had some difficulties with my Mother's care lately. She's more confused and said she couldn't live with me anymore. When I asked for a reason, she assured me it was a very good one but she just couldn't tell me right then. Funny but sad. Last night I came home after dinner with friends and she was sitting on the couch waiting for me, not sure what to do with the dogs? So I've added hours to her care-givers schedule. I need help with this.
One of my favorite things to do is lay down on her bed and she strokes my hair and we talk about everything. My brother, her brothers. Last night she talked about how much she loved living in Washington, DC and how her brother, Joe (a policeman) didn't want her to move to Chicago, so she didn't. And how her boss, Mr. Fitch told her - Miss Brinsko, the President is going to be coming by the office building later in a parade and why don't you go outside and watch and wave. She just was so shocked that he suggested "goofing off" during work hours. She tells the story of the married man asking her to dinner. She was shocked! Life in the 40s with a good Catholic girl. She had alot of trouble finding words last night, mumbling and stumbling through the conversation. I knew what she meant or wanted to say, she just had trouble lining it up and letting it leave her mouth. But the conversations are oh so sweet and gentle. I love them so much. I'm afraid of the day when we don't have them anymore. Do you think like that? Wish I didn't waste today worrying about the future. I hate that old wart, worry.
I heard a guy at the airport proclaiming all kinds of answers about marriage and relationships on my last trip. He said, some people are looking for a husband or wife to make them feel happy. But happiness is an inside job. I was swimming in a sea of happiness last night.