Tuesday, February 28, 2006


I had a major meltdown yesterday, luckily it was with my sister but I felt bad afterwards - as if I had thrown up all over her and I couldn't get the gunk off of her. Long story short - my (other) sister's two daughters live with me. It's a fairly new thing - one has only been here since Memorial Day 2005. I don't have any kids and I was single for 22 years so this whole - living with other people thing is only about 4 years old with me. And I am a total noise freak. I like it quiet. I don't like doors slamming or really closing loudly either. You're probably deducting that I am difficult to live with. I am. I also like order. Things in their place. Scissors where they're suppose to be. Things like that. Guess we should state I am very difficult to live with. Man, seeing that in black and white really gives me a new perspective. I am very hard to live with.
Okay, let's move on. These two girls are very good kids. They aren't drugging or smoking or sexing - okay, we have that established. And they're not kids - they're now 20 and 19. One is still in high school and she's the baby. But they really are good and soon-to-be grown ups.
I don't know how to explain it other than to say I am having a really hard time right now - well, I guess I have been for several months now. They make me crazy. They think they are grown up but they're still in school so 1 of them works part time. The other one is struggling in school so she's not working. I vacillate between trying to guide them to leaving them alone and letting them make their own mistakes. I made the mistake today of trying to guide. And when I do, they can be so bitchy and mouthy and I hate that. I'm tired of being worked over - and that's how I feel. Worked over in my own effffffing house. I'm resentful of the money, which I shouldn't be. I don't feel like the loving aunt any more. I feel like the resentful bitch who just wants to be left alone with her new husband. And my husband is really kind and generous - he accepts them and doesn't complain - unless they leave the doors unlocked when they leave or something like that. He's really been great about it. Of course, if you've ever noticed, men don't ever really get involved with raising kids. Not the hard stuff anyway. Anyway, I'm tired of fighting and feeling bad and I just wish it would go away. I'm not equpped for this stuff. Maybe thats some insight - maybe I lived alone for so long or never had kids was so that I didn't have to deal with this stuff. I'm just not good at it. It hurts too much. Enough crying.
Well, let's move on to something fun. The class on Saturday was excellent! We learned dry embossing and embossing with paste and brass stencils. Best part was learning proper technique - good stuff. Now I want Dreamweaver brass stencils... I also bought the Stamper's Sampler Take Ten book which looks incredibly cool - I want to learn something called polished stone and maybe dabble a little with collage. We shall see. It's all good. Had a good time at Maridawn's for the crop even though I didn't get much done. Made a great card for Amy's birthday with one of my new stamps but its in .pdf format so I can't figure out how to post it. And its at work. And finally, I've been working on various issues with our homeowners association and it just amazes me how some people can gripe and complain about every little thing. miniscule nit picky shit - they have to go on and on. They were complaining because the new street lights are TOO bright and shine so much that they have to shield their eyes when they walk out their front door. I kid you not. I would never be good for public service. We'll just leave it at that - I can't quit my day job. Good night!

Saturday, February 25, 2006


It's here! I'm going to an embossing class this morning at Memory Depot with my best bud, Rosemary. We're both very excited. I took one class here last month and it was very interesting. This class deals with brass stencils and using some kind of paste. The effect is gorgeous. Tonight I'm going to Maridawn's for a yahoo group crop, which will be great. I feel a little guilty with basically a whole day thing but what the hell. That is what I wanted to do in 2006 - more creating and so let it be done!. Here's some random thoughts.
I've gone nuts looking at this website - the stamping gallery is amazing. I want to learn how to do polished stone technique - the purple card looks awesome and so now I am scowering places looking at vintage stamps and stuff. Yesterday, I went to Texas Art Supply and Half Priced Books plus The Guild (popular resale shop) but that was just for fun. Anyway, I was looking at cards on Two Peas and one person had "copyright" written all over her stuff and I have to tell ya I just don't get it. It seems very grandiose and conceited to think every picture you take needs to be copyrighted. First of all, you aren't that great and second of all, why not share your stuff. I don't want it but I like the whole share mentality instead of the don't copy me attitude. I guess that's just me. I'm sure somebody else sees the other side differently - it would help to hear.
My brother is going to the Bacchus Ball this year - his first time. Yes, I am jealous. I've never been. Michael Keaton will be there and I think he can be quite handsome. I know it will be scaled down this year but I remember as a kid my parents getting dressed up and going. I know my Mom enjoyed it - I miss those old times (of being a kid). I don't want to sleep in the master bedroom and pay the bills! okay, sorry - I got carried away there.
Got a neat email from the Woodlands about an upcoming art festival in May. We have two graduations that month but I'd like to go, if I can't volunteer. Also peeked at the Resort they have there and that looks pretty stupendous. That would be an ideal weekend - shopping at the mall and town center and staying at the resort and getting some pampering. Oh yeah and Lone Star Scrapbooking too of course. That would be awesome.
Hi Valerie!
We're off to embossing school! Y'all make it a great day.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Have You Ever Shown Up for Work

and it's a holiday? Yep, that was me today. I didn't realize they were closed...nobody told me! Since I was dressed and coffeed, I stayed - what the hell. No use in ruining a good set of clothes to redryclean. Besides, I only work 1/2 day on Mondays.
We're coming out of the stress, I think but lots of things swirling around in my mind. Service seems to be the theme. Or rather bad service. I keep having these bad experiences with getting highlights. Seems they can't ever charge the same thing twice, even though they do the same thing each time. I've learned - when they slip the old lowlights, highlights thing, you say No, just lowlights please. Otherwise they charge another $25. Yes, I can be very cheap but kids, we're talking 100 bucks here. That's a full massage. That's not a cut or style, just color. I had a wonderful colorist, Missy. She was dependable and meticulous and we were together for something like 7, eight, maybe ten years. We grew up. And then she left me to seek her fortune in Las Vegas. Damn that Vegas. That's why I'm where I am today, because of freakin LV.

The second incident is quasi-internet hearsay of bad service. We have a yahoo group of my lss and one person wrote to complain about service. Another person wrote to complain. Then a couple more wrote to say it wasn't so bad. Then they shut the board down to comments, which I just find disappointing. They had an opportunity to just say a simple - I'm sorry you received bad service. That's all people want to hear is an I'm sorry. Believe me- it goes a long way. What is ironic is that someone mentioned to me last week how they didn't like the store because they were rude. So, I'm on the fence now about continuing with this group. There is a crop Sat - I'm going to go and enjoy and test the waters. I need to stay open. They have great projects on display but not embossing or stamping which I've gotten into recently.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Stressin - I'm a stressin

It's been a stressful two weeks - just ask the massage therapist I saw today! Why do they want to tell you something you already know...
Long story short - we have a house to sell and its not quite ready for market. My husband has been working on it since Sept. Two weeks ago it stressed him out so much, I agreed to take it over. It's been hell until I finally just let go and opened up my checkbook and quit fighting little expenses. Trying to save a buck. Just let it go and write some checks and be done with it. So, roughly $2k later, we should be good to go by Monday. I can't wait. It will be such a relief - that house drains me mentally for so many reasons, I will be so glad it is gone.
I've been fairly ambivalent about my job and future - trying to make my way and possibly try something new. After being in the same industry for 30 years. I had visions of flipping a house since I enjoyed remodeling ours so much last year. After this last house experience, I realize I don't have a good team put together plus I'm not handy. I'm good at decorating and picking stuff out but there are enough "decorators" in existance - we don't need any more. So, I'm just kinda stuck - what can I do. I hate to admit, I've become lazy. I don't know if I burned out or just lost interest but I don't have the focus. What I need to do is just let go and trust that the right situation will present itself. That sounds so airy fairy. Hopefully, I'll get there soon. We'll see.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Birmingham in April!

Sometimes if you want some happiness to come into your life – you just have to make it happen! I did that today and it has made me very, very happy. I signed up for this. It’s a weekend scrap event with some pretty amazing women. For two days in April in Birmingham. I called my friend tbarnes who is the only person I know in B'ham and we’re going to have dinner that Thursday night. I am soooo jazzed! It was a rough week last week and I was on the fence about this event and after reading Heidi Swapp’s blog, I decided to call and get in it if there was a spot left. There was. I’m in. I’m anxious (what if I don’t fit in) but totally excited too. I know it will be a growth event!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Hello Dawlin

Today is the one year anniversary of my cousin, Deetsie’s death. She was my favorite person in the world and I miss her in a big way. I made a beautiful card for a few people, her kids, brother and a cousin. Surprisingly it helped my grieving process. I think it is one of the best cards I’ve ever made. I filtered two photos of her – when she was 3 and one from my wedding and printed them on vellum. The card came from Texas Art Supply and has beautiful platinum scroll work on a black background. I found some beautiful wide ribbon while at Maridawn’s yahoo crop and added a bazzill chip with her monogram. And I sealed it with a black embossed fleur de lis. She would have loved it.

The weatherman said it was a great day to take off. I did. Because my brother is in town and staying at my house tonight. Shopped at a bunch of different stores (Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, Hobby Lobby, Talbots) and had lunch at my fav, California Pizza Kitchen. It was a most enjoyable day. The weatherman was right.
She always greeted me with "Hello, Dawlin".