Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Choices

These thoughts have been circling through my brain lately and I should be telling you all about Inspired in North Carolina, but bear with me while I clear this junk out. I'll insert crafty pictures, how's that for a compromise?








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This is the table in our journal class with CD Muckosky. It was very free spirited and playful and dirty. I'm not a dirty artist but it was fun to use stuff that isn't meant for art, to make different designs. Pam Garrison's journal is second and Sandy (my roomie's) mosaic piece in infancy.

Anyway, back on point. I deal with accidents - in my regular job and so I read ALOT of reports about how things went wrong, to figure out whether we're liable,which means we have to settle and pay money. I also like "lessons learned", which I find helpful (but not everybody does). But I'm always astonished when learning about accidents how one choice, made differently would cause a different end result. One lane change not made = no accident. That one choice you make, in a split second, that if made differently can sometimes alter a life - alot of lives really. I know all this sounds so damn deep and its really not. You probably think about it too. I guess its on my mind because I'm reading alot about the BP blowout and wondering what could have been different. Did you know they were celebrating 7 years of no lost time on that rig on the day of the accident? So ironic. Okay, back to the point. I made a choice last week not to lock my car and someone else made a choice to take things that didn't belong to them. Not big or expensive things but it wasn't theirs to take. And it has really made me feel so vulnerable and afraid, ALOT of the time when I'm out in public. Like, okay, so what's going to happen next? What other shocker is going to happen to me. You go along swimmingly in your little life, little bubble and then, boom. Its sort of funny because - you know all the stuff you've been bitching about? Well, I'll give you something to stress over! And really - IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. They didn't steal money or keys or credit cards, for God's sake. But they stole a piece of my peaceful little life from me and I want it back. I stand at the front door now before I go to bed and wonder if they're walking around right now - can I catch them at it again?
Anyway, its just affected me in a profound way. When I think about it, I guess it is a good faith tester. Am I going to be negative and cynical and think of all the dishonesty in the world or will I believe in people's goodness? That's been my talk, so I guess I gotta walk it now.
And really its simple. I let down my guard and so now I just need to be careful. But when do I trust and when do I protect??? Good question.

5 comments:

Sandy said...

Your choice is to let this cause you to be more cautious, but not fill your life with fear. Try not to allow it to control you. My 2 cents and not easy ones. It will fade with time, but never go completely away.

Linda said...

I'm sorry you had this experience. I agree with Sandy.... it's not the experience - but your reflection on the experience that is important.

Barb said...

Your words on the "one second" are exactly what I tell my boys....sex, alcohol, stupidity...one second could change your future. Thanks for sharing.

Julia said...

Peggy, So sorry about the theft. The car break-ins are happening more and more frequently in Houston and its suburbs. My friend and co-worker stopped at Luby's to eat after taking more than a hundred pictures of her daughter and friends Pre-Prom. Came out to her car after eating and it had been broken into.....camera gone. She cried and cried

Take some time to "feel" this.....it is scary, it is wrong, it is anxiety-provoking....it is sooo frustrating.


You do a great job "living" your life...so a bad thing now and then won't knock you down for long.

Rachel said...

Peggy - sorry you had these people come into your life and disturb your calm. It is a reminder that we have to keep our eyes open and be cautious, but I agree with the others, don't let fear rule your world! I had my car broken into in Chicago when I lived there, and had all our family photos stolen since I hadn't completely unloaded from a scrapbooking event....it took a long time to regain faith in people's goodness....but consider everyday how much more goodness you see than bad and it'll put it back into perspective!